Fall

School started today, the last two weeks we had recruitment which went excellent. Our new pledge class is somewhere around 60 girls and they are beautiful inside and out. I can't wait to meet more of them and get to know them well enough to pick a little sister. It's weird to think that I was in their position just a year ago. My life has done cartwheels since then, I am such a different person in such a different place in my life then a year ago. Looking back at this year I don't know what I would have fucking done without Chi Omega, she has literally become a part of me. I am Chi Omega and my sisters are me, as much as I have and continue to get pissed off at them they are always there for me when I need them and when I don't even know it. Joining a sorority was the best thing that has ever happened to me and I couldn't be more excited to see what these next couple years bring to me.

This wednesday is the first Panhellenic meeting of the year and I couldn't be more excited! I love Pan and the meetings, they are the highlight of my week. I don't even have class on wednesday but I will be there for Pan. On wednesday I also have a phone interview for Apple, I really hope I get the job. I also have another interview/job fair for another Apple location next monday. I love Apple and would love to work there for a considerable amount of time considering my major and intended career path. Even if everything doesn't work out I'm thankful for the opportunity and so excited for the rest of my fall 2010 semester!

GO KNIGHTS!

Friendly Neighborhood Reminder

Sometimes we just fly through life on autopilot. We do the same things day in and day out, we get into these horrible patterns and set our lives into schedules. These schedules that we can't break from that consumer our time and our creativity. It smothers our creativity leaving it deprived and withered, but if we just stop to smell the roses we can revive that creativity. We can bring a new and clean breath of fresh air and life into our worlds and break from these patterns. Sometimes I believe that I get stuck in these patterns, but when I am at my most care free that's when I truly experience life and I allow myself to be the most prosperous as I can be. So don't allow yourself to get stuck in patterns and schedules and if you do don't forget to stop and smell the roses.

Title

Body

Signature

1930s Corona Streamline

She might not be as sparkly and clean but she's MINE MINE MINE <333

Moleskine #2

I've already started doodling and I'm excited to see what comes out of this <333

Tunnel Vision

My goal for the next year is to get nothing but A's and A+'s for the entire year I plan on taking easy classes for the first semester and then stepping it up in the spring. I have these feelings that UCF is in someway holding me back and in the fall next year, if my grades have improved, I am considering transferring schools. I love UCF but I deserve better and I've never been able to fully show my academic abilities and this has held me back in life. Not getting into Penn was the worst day of my life and I need to at least try once more to prove to myself that I can do better, I keep sabotaging myself and this has to stop I have so much potential to do great things with my life and I need to start now.

Back on My Grind

Started doodling again today, gunna keep it up. So excited.

Nigga

^ This is all I can say right now

Shit that ain't going right:
1. Spain lost BADLY
2. I have 2 dry sockets
3. I HAVE NO BLUEBERRIES
4. I haven't slept through the night in a week
5. I'm tired of life in general

'Survey Says'

TEN THINGS ABOUT YOURSELF

1. I am a sister of the Chi Omega Fraternity <333
2. I am my mothers only child and my dads 8th
3. I absolutely love soccer
4. I would love to be a housewife
5. I love horrible reality television
6. MY favorite color is purple, but not in excess
7. I've seen every Bring It On movie more then three times
8. I make a delicious breakfast casserole
9. I could watch wedding shows all day
10. I plan on studying abroad in the next two years

NINE THINGS YOU’VE THOUGHT ABOUT RECENTLY
1. I hate that the World Cup isn't at night
2. What am I doing with my life?
3. I want to start a non profit organization one day
4. I need to rinse my mouth
5. Why is this Bridezilla having a halloween wedding?
6. I wish I was still a hipster
7. I need to experience something amazing
8. My life is average
9. What am I missing?

EIGHT WAYS TO WIN YOUR HEART

1. Being genuine
2. Being funny
3. Being on time
4. Laugh at my jokes
5. Have a mind of your own
6. Eat well, but know how to party
7. Love your family
8. Love me

SEVEN FAVOURITE SONGS

1. Roslyn - Bon Iver & St. Vincent
2. Lover You Should've Come OVer - Jeff Buckley
3. Breathe Me - Sia
4. Tonight - Lykke Li
5. I'm Going In - Drake ft Lil Wayne
6. Two Weeks - Grizzly Bear
7. Come Away With Me - Norah Jones

SIX THINGS YOU DO BEFORE YOU GO TO BED
1. Say witty things
2. Think: 'I'm tired'
3. Say that I'm tired
4. Yawn
5: Wash my mouth
6. PTFO

FIVE THINGS YOU WANT TO SAY TO FIVE DIFFERENT PEOPLE

1. Why would you ever say things like that about anyone?

2. I love I love I love you, but I need you to care about your life and take care of yourself.

3. I don't know who you are, but I'm ready for you and I'm ready to let you into my life...fully.

4. You are the greatest person I know and you're not even a person I can't think of the day when you won't be in my life.

5. You have made me hate my freshman year so much and unfortunately you'll probably make me regret some of my sophomore year too.

FOUR THINGS YOU ARE DOING RIGHT NOW

1. This
2. Watching 'My First Place'
3. Talking crap with my mom
4. Nursing my gums

THREE THINGS YOU ARE SCARED OF

1. Being alone
2. Failing
3. Living an unfulfilled life

TWO THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE

1. Go to the World Cup
2. Have a child

ONE CONFESSION

I don't believe in myself

I'm North Korea and Brazil is the world

I have tried to make cupcakes about 5 times since I've been home and every single time something goes wrong. I just burned the last batch because I put to much oil I can't be more upset right now. Why does everything I touch recently go to waist everything falls apart or turns bad. I'm so tired of fucking everything up, can something I do turn out well for a change?

FUCK THIS SHIT

OMG!!!!! I have never been in such pain
NEVER
I have never had surgery
EVER
I have never wanted to pass out so badly
NEVER
I cannot take this every four hours I want to cry and I can barely eat or I get super queazy and want to puke on everything. Why do I have such a baby pain tolerance, why do I have to take like 1500 mgs of medicine to be at 4 on a scale of 1 - 10 of pain I want to sleep till tuesday because then I'll maybe feel better. Also my 'best friend' doesn't give a fuck about how much pain I'm in I hate him and I'm so mad wtf YOU SHOULD HAVE GOTTEN ME A CARD OR SOMETHING!?!?!

Poésie: 2

Pretty things surround me
from the inside out
from my heart to my skin to the pink on my mouth
from my bed to my home to the grass so green
in my love for my mom and for my life so keen

Beautiful are the moments that I spend to myself
admiring the pretty things surrounding me on the shelves
wonderful are the days I have with friends
the ones that have herbs that they often lend

Astounding is the music that flows through my life
on relaxing beach days and rowdy dancing nights
Un-replaceable are my experiences that I hold so dear
that have taught me to stand high and have no fear

Forever lasting is my joy
and the love i give to all

I am forever exceeding the days before
and will never be afraid to fall

Bad Days: are the worst

Yesterday I got my wisdom teeth out and the surgery was great! Is it weird that I actually enjoyed the surgery? Well they kept me awake but I was under sedation so I didn't feel anything but it was such a crazy/fun experience. I got to watch them drilling in my mouth it was kind of like those Alien probing experience but it was interesting. The part that sucked was afterwards my painkillers didn't do shit and I couldn't figure out how to position the gauze on my bleeding gums so I kind of looked like a vampire...Now 14 hours later I do feel much better and I can finally eat again 'PRAISE JESUS' I can't wait to fully heal and see my beautiful doctor again.

I wish I was important

I want to feel important

Tech Nerd

I am such a nerd when it comes to technology, but I think that's a necessity when I want to be a Graphic Designer. Today is one of my favorite days of the years WWDC!!!!! Today is Apple's keynote speech and I am uber excited, so many rumors are flying around.

1. New Iphone - the new Iphone was 'leaked' some weeks ago but I'm sure apple had something up their sleeves with this one. I've been seeing a lot of reports of 5,000 dollar iphones that come in different colors?!?!?! Yeah, what the fuck....I would never pay for a blue iphone at a price of 5 grand are you smoking something? I'm also hearing that it's supposed to be called iPhone HD, hopefully that eludes to high resolution but I'm hoping more for a faster operating speed with applications. I really hope they have a new update coming too for all iPhones PLEASEEE!!! *fingers crossed*

2. iPhone trackpad.....I probably will start crying and throwing things considering I just bought a wacom tablet and I would be crushed, absolutely crushed. The prototypes I've seen seem so apple and so elegant and I will just start saving my little duckets.

All and all I'm super excited 5 more hours and it shall begin, but I do have errands to run today and I guess I'll find out later <333

LOLZ

All I can do is laugh. The Chi Omega UCF website is a travesty, the colors are horrendous the background image is this weird gradient pattern, it doesn't follow any of the rules of web design it soooo obvious that someone did this with a web layout page. It's just so annoying to look at it and all I can do is dissect the ugliness of the site. I can't say whether it's a step up from what was before.. i feel like it's still the same grade of hideousness but not much better. AND THE PICTURES! There's about 5 girls that are in at least one picture on every page, it's pretty ironic considering who did the website..on to that matter. The person who designed the website is one of the few people in Chi Omega that I wish wasn't a Chi Omega, she's never been someone I would align myself with. She's never made me feel welcomes she's acts like she's 12 sometimes she just aggravates me, and having the website look so tacky is a true reflection of her. My number one pet peeve of the website is the font, WHOTHEFUCK! There's about 7 different fonts on the entire site...with all different typefaces. Typography is my favorite part of design and its the worst executed part of the website, next to the colors. DOES SHE HAVE A COLOR WHEEL?!!?!!??!!? The colors...omg....these colors are never meant to be together they don't intersect on the wheel at all.

It's a travesty because I know how many people look at the websites before going through recruitment and they're going to look at our websites and have some immediate opinions, next year I better be in charge of the website because this is just a joke.

Partner in Crime

My favorite part of blogging is reading other blogs and seeing how they interpret their life. I always seem to have such a blunt perspective, there is no blurring of the lines in my eyes. So what happened to the grey areas? What happened to my maybes and possibly? I've become a yes and no kind of person and I don't know if that's always best.

Over these past couple of weeks I've finally got to see my best friend again and its astonishing how much we've changed. For the most part we're still on the same page but sometimes our ideals differ so much. He's been doing somethings that I don't think are to smart or in his best favor. I don't know if it's just that we've fallen into different lifestyles or if it's just him being reckless. Also sometimes I find myself being very judgmental and I think it's because of these different paths we've gone on. We used to be so on course with each other, maybe we're just coming into ourselves and I need to accept the person he's becoming.. I just hope I don't loose the best friend I've always loved.

LICO

My sisters always set me straight. They always tell me when I'm getting out of line and when I need to check my shit. It's always in that way that pisses me off just a little bit to make me realize where they're coming from. I know it sounds ridiculous but it's just how I need it to be done. I think Chi Omega has really helped me in devolping the best me and preparing me to deal with all types of people. "Loyal we will be to our symphony and colors"

Poésie: 1

this is what we do

we do it till we die

we do it till we scream "us"

not "I"

we feel from our head

to our feet

in our thighs

you can see the fires burning

and the wheels always turning.. in our eyes

breaking the mold

taking hold of who we are

always surpassing never masking

OVER the bar

I push till bruise

we're on the move never to stop

we are the future

always to the future

we are the top

Reluctantly Crouched at the Startling Line..

I hate growing older and growing out of bad habits. One of my worst habits is my romantic relationships. Im a pretty intimidating person to begin with, and that's probably never going to change. I have also just sucked at regular relationships too, so since I've been in college nothing in those areas have really changed. I suck at giving signals, I suck at knowing what to say, I'm unbelievably awkward and have no cool points. I'm trying to take college boys with a grain of salt but they haven't really excited me at all. I think this has just been building up from taking friends to Chi Omega events. I just hope that one day I'll take someone I'm actually interested in...maybe.

I'm convinced

My mother is a fucking idiot, everyday I find more and more proof. She's a pack rat with food, clothes, everything. This is the second time I made cupcakes and they came out tasting weird and I asked her when the flour was from she said she didn't know THE FUCKING FLOUR IS TWO YEARS OLD IM SO FUCKING TIRED OF THIS. This is more of a rant then anything I feel like she's just senile and stupid. This instance proves that a college degree means nothing.

I'm Slowly Watching My Mother Die

and I can't do anything about it, why won't she listen to me?

Bits and Pieces

I was talking to my friend Devin the other day and I said something that I thought was rather witty... though I can't remember it now.... but it did make me think. How many other people in the world have said this exact same thing AND thought that they were witty too?!? I always feel like I'm so original sometimes but then I see someone else with the same idea as me and I think how original is original? Could there possibly be someone out there that is exactly like me?

I finally came to the conclusion today that we are all bits and pieces of each other and some bits are smaller then others making them more significant then the other pieces and some of us have a couple of identical pieces. So I guess there really could be someone out there who thinks just like me, but only with some bits and pieces.

Lost in the woods

Sometimes I feel like the creativity inside me has escaped, I don't feel driven to produce anything. I find myself blank and unable to bring out any light of art. I miss writing I could write forever, my speciality was poems. I loved writing poems and reading poems. I used to buy little poem books from book shops and I used to love exploring Miami and finding little places to browse for anything. I guess I've felt sort of contained with all the rules I've had to follow with Panhellenic and Chi Omega but I've also experienced things I've never done before. I just need to find my soul again... I need to create something beautiful.

Brian Atwood

I have nothing to say, just this photo.

I HATE MY HAIR

I don't know what to do with it, it's completely unruley I can't take it. I really want to chop it all off or shave my head. Locks of Love won't even want it because it's so annoying to keep up with. Why is this so difficult.

Give me long hair soon, I can't take this awkward length...

Home, again.

I seem to only write in this blog when I return home, but that's probably because I only have time to do what I want when I come home. I truly do love being home and being in Orlando. Sometimes I miss Orlando when I'm home but mostly I just feel like I'm doing things I truly enjoy in Miami. I don't feel at home in Orlando yet, I still feel like I'm living in a foreign place, but when I come back I can see that I've changed. Just driving around the city I can see that I've changed and many of these habits are good and many of them are....not so good. But it's ok and I love my two lives I just wish I could have complete happiness in both places, hopefully one day.