Progress

On Monday I came home and surprised my mom, it was quite hilarious because she didn't even recognize me. I love being home, it makes my life so much more relaxed and easy going. I also have been christmas shopping, so I guess the retail therapy is also helping my attitude. Right now I think I've bought all the gifts I will for my mom, and I cannot wait till next week for her to open them. Not to mention that I cannot wait to open my gifts, but we still have seven days so let's keep counting them away.

Wonderful

I'm glad that I signed up for a sisterhood, that only decides to be a sisterhood when it's comfortable for them. Me on the other hand I sit in my room and cry because I have no friends at college. This is great I hate my life, and I'm failing my classes. Why does God give birth to people like me.

I need a change

Coming to college was a super culture shock. I realized how different it was to my life back home, so maybe it's time for me to be different. I feel as if I need to do everything I want to. I've started playing my guitar more and doing more things with my passions. I want to find a dance studio and start taking real classes not like the ones at the gym. I also would like to change my body and possibly get to 135, what a task. I just want to be more proud of my decisions and who I am. I think I might finally have the drive and ability to succeed. I also want to take more acting classes and try to perform more.

I have neglected you.

I think the reason I leave or neglect things is because I don't want to become attached. Sometimes you have to let yourself experience time without something to realize how much it belongs in your life, like Miami. Not being in Miami for the past couple of months has literally sucked the life out of me. I just have become jaded, my surroundings are jaded. Orlando is not Nowhere, South Dakota but it's also not Miami. Miami was the life that flowed through me, and every time I go back it's as if the neon signs jump start me back to life.

There is no place like home. Four more days.

Ideas? Input?

My next tattoo will be a robot.

I don't know which one yet, but I really like square robots with nuts and bolts. I want a square robot with a red heart maybe on my back or near my groin.

I hate you

I guess you really don't have to be eighteen

Existentialism

Lately in English we have been reading works of existentialists and I cannot necessarily say I agree fully with their ideals but i can understand their principles. I have taken on a lot of thinking in the past couple of days, and I want to venture more into the world. I want to spend some time in France just learning about life and the elements that guide it. I am more and more compelled to find my true calling in life. I feel this greatness inside of my blossoming with every breath I take and every realization I make. 

It's time to achieve greatness.